It's about 10 o'clock at night. It's Friday, and more than likely a few of my hundered-something classmates are out partying, having some fun and doing whatever. I'm sitting on my couch, listening to David Bowie. Next to me, my brothers are watching WWE while yelling random phrases at the television ("You can tell the guy in green spandex is doing something wrong; the refs are yelling at him"). I suppose it seems pretty normal. Almost.
I will admit, out of the last week, this is probably one of the lower sugars. It's the first week back after spring back, after all; there are tons of tests (some of which I still need to make up because I was too high to take them at school), getting back in the swing of school and all that. I've been in the three hundreds, and I hit 417 last night after my insulin pump had an error. It's life I guess.
I'm going into my eighth year of being diabetic this July, and me being your average teenage girl, I like to think I've got this disease handled after having it for so long. But the fact is, sometimes I feel like my sugars are the ones running the show; I'm just here for the ride. In fact, I think every diabetic has felt like that at some point (and if you haven't, please, tell me how!). We're in the middle of a balancing act, and the real trick isn't how much we can stack; it's that after so many bumps and twists, we haven't fallen yet.
I am not a doctor. I'm not here to give you the miracle 'how-to' to make your blood sugars perfect. I'm also not the go-to link for how to communicate with your own diabetic kids. We're teenagers. People have been looking for that manual for years; adding diabetes to the equation won't produce it. I can't fly, shoot lasers, understand Shakespeare, or get my brothers to listen to me (though trust me, I've tried).
But what I can do, is to try and help. I can (hopefully!) give you a place to turn to and go 'hey, that's happened to me too! It does suck!'. Or a place to meet other people with the same problems. Because I think sometimes, us diabetic kids feel like no one in the world gets us; not our doctors, not our friends, and especially not our parents.
As for the parents, I really hope I can shine a different perspective on it for you. You guys try so hard - trust us, we know! - and we do appreciate it, even if we don't show it every day. I'm hoping this is a place where you will be able to read a post and go 'I remember when this happened with *insert kid's name here*...I never knew it felt like that. I'll have to remember that'.
I'm not a manual. But maybe I'll become the unofficial Sparknote version, full of helpful hints, advice, and stories that can make you laugh?
I hope so.
